


His hope flickered out

by Tobys_paradox



Series: His Hope Flickered Out [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abandonment, Bad Dadza, Bad Parenting, Child Abandonment, Child Neglect, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Mental Breakdown, Phil is a Bad Dad, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, phil and techno go on an adventure and leave Tommy and Wilbur behind fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:47:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28994694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobys_paradox/pseuds/Tobys_paradox
Summary: Tommy slept in front of the door of their small family cottage, he always did when they first left. He always waited, just in case they came home early.They were always gone for so long and they didn’t stay home when they did come back, he hates them for leaving and yet he still misses them. He continues to wait for them.It was their third month gone by the time his birthday rolled around, and Wilbur seemed to be a lot more quiet than usual.He didn’t know his only birthday present would be the hurt and the way he could feel his heart break when he woke up alone.
Relationships: Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: His Hope Flickered Out [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150373
Comments: 83
Kudos: 1110
Collections: Found family to make me feel something





	1. 3

**Author's Note:**

> I felt the sudden urge to write something sad so I did.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Tommy sat by the front door of their little cottage, it was always a bit too quiet for his liking but maybe it was just the lack of people he knew should be there. He stayed by the door quite a lot whenever they first leave, but he always ends up back in his own room. Always disappointed but never surprised, no, he was never surprised anymore when they didn’t come home in time for anything. He was used to it by the time he was old enough to understand was was happening. 

His older brother, Wilbur, was the only one who bothers to stay, though he’s starting to give up hope that he’ll stay too. He can see the way the older boy longs for freedom, longs to get away from the too small home with the too little people. He knows that being cooped up in their small cottage taking care of his kid brother was never something he planned on doing. Maybe that’s why dad and techno always left, because they didn’t want to take care of him.

And so, he continues to sit by the front door, even as he shivers when he can feel the chill seep through the thick wood, waiting. How long does he have to wait this time? Last time they were gone for months, he wasn’t sure Wilbur would wait that long this time ‘round. It was unfair, he knew it was. To both him and his brother, both left behind to fend for themselves because they only have each other.

Wilbur shouldn’t have to bare the burden of taking care of him, not when they already have someone who’s supposed to do that. He tries his best to make it easy for him, always cleaning his messes and quieting his cries when things get too lonely for him. He even learned how to cook for himself from whenever Wilbur would leave too, he doesn’t ever go for long only a day or two at most. He left to listen to the music they would play in town, there was always music there and Wilbur always radiated towards it even if he tried his hardest to stay.

He can see the way Wilbur misses Techno as well, they were always close, he can tell how much he misses him. They haven’t been gone long, techno and their dad, but they always seem to leave for the longest times and never come back when it’s important. He, Tommy, sometimes grew frustrated with them, who are they to just leave them behind? But then they come home and he hugs them and stays close and hope he never loses them again. He always does.

Tommy fell asleep by the front door again, head propped up against the pillow he stole from the couch with a thin blanket over his shoulders. Wilbur always makes sure to stay up as well so he can carry the younger one to his bed and try and make peace with the fact the others weren’t coming home for a while. It was something that started years ago, one day Tommy stopped going into Wilburs room when they first left and started going to the front of the house in hopes they would come home a bit early that time.

Phil and Techno went on adventures a lot, for long periods of time and when they come home they never stayed for long. They tried to get home for big events, like birthdays or holidays that Tommy still seems to enjoy, but sometimes they just can’t make it. Phil is sure that they’ll understand, that they’ll be fine.

It had been a month since they left and Tommy finally stopped sleeping in front of the door, he doesn’t know why he tried anymore but he can’t help but hope. The young 9 year old wanted to cling onto that hope and he never wanted to let go.

It was late March by the time the third month rolled around, at some point Wilbur left for a little bit and he had gotten himself a guitar from the main town area. He liked to listen to him play, although it was a bit messy since he was still learning. Tommy could hear the soft strings being played into the late night, he had never realized how sad a melody could be. There would me occasional murmurs of lyrics to go along with them, but they were never finished.

There was one particular night when Wilbur seemed more quiet than usual, so Tommy did was he could and he slipped into his brothers room when the sun fell and helped wipe his tears away without question. Every once and a while things got to be too much for the young boy and he’d walk into his brothers room crying and you could hear his pain in the way he tried to quiet his sobs. They both shook with tears on those nights, they never spoke about it in the morning but they still continued to happen.

It was the beginning of April and Tommy’s mood seemed to flip flop, he was excited about his birthday, he was turning double digits that year! But he knew for a fact that his father and brother wouldn’t be there to celebrate it, no matter how much he hoped and asked a higher up he wasn’t quite sure he believed in anymore. He thought if life was so cruel, how could a god exist? How could someone bare to watch over his life and think of him as content?

Wilbur stayed quiet, more than usual, the entirety of the first week of April. He didn’t know why but he didn’t like to question his older brothers whenever something was going on, and he wasn’t starting now. He just stayed extra close to him in those days, trying to make him feel better without pushing him to talk about it.

He was brought into his brothers room the night before his birthday, he didn’t know why but he happily hugged his brother as he fell asleep anyways. Tommy woke up in the middle of the night to a kiss on his forehead, he responded to his brothers ‘I love you’ sleepily, he thought nothing of it and fell asleep once more.

When he woke up in the morning he was alone in the bed and it was quiet, too quiet. He didn’t like it. But he got up anyways with a pep in his step and made his way into the living room, he pushed away his worries because he was happy. It was his birthday! The big number ten, techno always said that it was a really important number because it was finally double digits.

He stared at the empty living room as his smile slipped away from his face, he peaked into the dining room and kitchen area and sighed when he found no one. He returned to the living room and sat down on the couch, he would wait for Wilbur to come home, maybe he was just getting something from town!

Tommy stayed in the living room, unmoving, on the couch for the next few hours, even as his stomach twisted with hunger and he could feel his mouth starting to dry. He still had hope that his only birthday present wasn’t abandonment, hope that he hadn’t been left on his most important birthday. Techno said it was important, so why didn’t they care?

He sat there until the room was lit a fiery orange from the setting sun and it shined through the window, and he continued to sit there even as it got dimmer and dimmer. He only got up when he couldn’t tell if his eyes were opened or closed it was so dark, he searched around a bit for a flint and steel. He lit the torches that were around the living room, he learned how to do that after the first few times he was left alone. He knew that sometime through the night they would burn out and he would have to replace them in the morning.

When he felt his eyes start to get heavy he grabbed the pillow from the couch and a thin blanket and made his way to his usual spot. When he got to the door he noticed the note that was taped to it, he took it down and nearly teared up as he stared at his brothers writing.

‘Happy birthday Toms, 

I hope you enjoy your big day, even if I’m not there to celebrate it with you. I might be gone for a while, so I stocked everything up before I left. So you’ll have lots of food and clean water and more wood for torches and such. 

I’m sorry, I am truly sorry. I didn’t leave because of you, no, never because of you. Everything was just a bit too much for me. 

I love you, and I always will. But I have to go for now, I’ll return one day. I’ll see you once in the future and we can be happy again, 

I promise.

Love,  
Wilbur.’

The note was a bit smudged in some places, some words scratched out, and it was sort of difficult to read through it because Wilbur wasn’t the best teacher when it came to reading. He folded the note and placed it into his pocket, he would hold his brother to that promise. 

And so, the newly ten year old sat in front of their little cottage door once again and cried, cried because he was so used to it and yet he was still disappointed. Cried because he was left alone on his birthday, even if he was told how big that day was, he knew they’ve missed his birthday in the past but he thought today would be different. Cried because the one person he had left had also fallen through the cracks of their crumbling family. 

He fell asleep there on the floor and was disappointed when he didn’t wake up in his bed like usual, that no, it wasn’t just a bad dream. He felt his hope start to flicker out.


	2. They’re young boys, far too young to be by themselves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aa

Tommy leaned his head down onto the table in front of him, he had a persistent headache and it just would not go away. It had been a week since Wilbur left, Tommy finally came to terms that he wasn’t coming back for a while, if it was like usual he would have been back by now. 

There was a halfway eaten cake in one of the cabinets that he had been eating for the majority of his meals, he had gotten it the day after his birthday when he finally had enough energy to stand up from his spot on the floor. He couldn’t bring himself to make a proper meal, he was too scared to take the first step of finally taking care of himself. He could feel his stomach grumble from the lack of proper food, and he had thrown up the day prior from the sickeningly sweet meal.

He sighed before standing up and moving towards the kitchen, he pulled out an apple and decided to munch on that. He could make some real food later. He was also a bit scared, because he didn’t know many recipes and he didn’t want to live off of the same meal everyday. It hadn’t been long but Tommy still missed Wilburs cooking.

Tommy made his way back to the living room, where he spent most of his tome by now. He refused to go up to where his bedroom was, he didn’t want to see all of the other empty rooms, Techno and Phil’s doors were shut but Wilburs was wide open and he didn’t know if he could take looking at the empty room just yet.

He hadn’t realized he had fallen asleep until he was waking up in a dark room, his sleeping schedule was all messed up because he no longer had someone to tell him when to go to sleep. He lit up the torches on the walls once more, he was getting better at using the flint and steel so it doesn’t take him so long to light the house up. 

He threw his apple core out of one of the windows, it would be good for the soil, and made his way into the kitchen once more. He only knew how to make simple meals that he saw Wilbur cooking once or twice before. He spent some time going through all of the cabinets and cupboards looking at the food that Wilbur had stocked up on. He took out some bread and other deli meat, a sandwich would do for now. 

The young boy sat down at the dining room table with a book he found in the living room, he couldn’t read half the words and it was the longest book he’s ever seen but I wanted to get better. He eventually picked up on some words, and he was proud of himself for doing so, it took him a while to finish the first chapter and even then he was still confused on what was happening in the book. He saw Techno reading it once and wanted to give it a try too.

It took him weeks, almost a full two months, to finish the book. He spent an hour or two every night reading it, but any longer and he would get frustrated with his understanding and throw it to the side, which he usually ended up regretting because there were a few times that he lost his spot. He was ecstatic when he finished it, the happiest he’s been in months, he had yelled a few times in victory before laughing and sitting down again. There was a lot he still didn’t understand in the book, there was no way he could teach himself to read in two months with one book, but he definitely knew a few more words than before.

He itched to read other books but he refused to go to the bedrooms, he only darted into that part of the house when he needed to change or use the bathroom that was there. He looked at the jar of coins that were tucked away in the kitchen, Phil brought back money that they could use every time he came home and it usually lasted up until he came home, if not more. He had been to the market multiple times, just not by himself, but it was a quick walk and he was sure he could do it. He saw a bookshop there the few times he went, he wanted more books, maybe he could get one that’s a bit easier to read.

It was late night now, so he opted to go in the morning, or whenever he woke up. He looked out of the window and stared at the stars above, he always liked star gazing, but he never got the hang of constellations and he could never find them even if they were pointed out to him. 

He slept on the couch, he stopped sleeping in front of the door a week after Wilbur left, he had lost all hope of anyone returning at that point. He usually didn’t dream, even throughout his childhood, but when he did he didn’t remember it in the morning.

When he woke up, probably near afternoon seeing as the suns so high up in the sky, he didn’t bother to eat just yet. He was used to not eating all three meals a day, even when Wilbur was there. He did take another apple tho, they were good and they were sweet, but not cake-like sweet which made his stomach churn. 

He took a small bag from his room, he was getting better at going near that area of the house although he did close Wilburs bedroom door, and filled it with some things. Like a small snack that would be fine being shook around in his bag and a bottle of water, he stashed his coin in the side pocket and zipped it closed so they wouldn’t fall out. He tugged on his shoes, they were a bit worn but they did the trick and he didn’t want to get rid of them.

Tommy stood outside the front door and looked over the trees that surrounded the area, he hadn’t left the house in a long time and wanted to bask in the sunlight for a bit. Theirs was the only house for a little bit, far enough away that he could see them or easily get to them. He sighed before starting to make his way down the path that had been worn in over the years of use. He remembered that he just had to follow along the path, and not stray from it, and he would eventually find himself at the town.

He had underestimated how long it would take to get there and hated how hot the sun felt on his skin, he had drank half of his water already. It was only around a twenty minute walk but he wasn’t prepared for it so it felt like so much longer.

He smiled when he finally spotted the cluster of buildings and shops and rushed the rest of the way there, it was weird to see so many people after so long but he enjoyed how the loneliness slowly seeped from his chest. He walked through the entire town before he found the book store, he hesitated before walking in but journeyed in eventually. 

His eyes widened at all of the books around him, there were shelves full and then some more stacked on the ground or other tables. He tried to look for some shorter ones, and mostly stuck to looking at the ones with pretty covers. He had chosen a few by the time he was ready to check out, they were all pretty long and would probably prove a challenge to read but he thought it made it more fun.

He handed over the money that was needed, books were a lot more expensive than he thought they would be, and left the shop. He didn’t want to return home yet, he didn’t want to see the empty rooms and lonely living room. So he opted to stay in town, he looked at the stands that were selling random trinkets or food items. 

Tommy startled when he bumped into someone when he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. He looked down to see the other boy knocked onto the ground, he was a bit shorter than Tommy and wore a messily buttoned green shirt. He held out a hand and helped the boy up into a standing position, there was a smile on his face like he wasn’t just fallen on the floor.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.” The words left his mouth before he knew what he was saying, he was taught to apologize for mistakes he made and it was just engraved into his mind at this point.

The other boy laughed while patting down his bands to get any dirt or dust off, “it’s alright! I didn’t see you either.”

They both stood there for a few seconds in silence, the only noise was the shifting of fabrics when his books jolted around in his bag. The other boy held his hand out and smiled when Tommy shook it, it was a bit of a weird first impression but who was Tommy to judge.

“Anyways, I’m tubbo! What’s your name? I haven’t seen you around here, so are you new or something?” The boy, Tubbo apparently, immediately started to ask questions all while still shaking Tommy’s hand.

His eyes widened as he let out a bit of a panicked laugh, “Oh, I’m Tommy. It’s, uh, nice to meet you Tubbo. What kinda name even is that. Tubbo? Sounds a bit stupid to me.” 

Tommy hadn’t talked to someone in a few months so his filter was a bit off, he had spoken in general for a while so he did have to clear his throat every few minutes. He regretted his choice of words when the boys face fell and and he looked to the ground. His hands slowly moved in front of him, like he was putting his hands up in surrender.

“No, wait. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Tubbos a great name, very good!” He panicked and stumbled over his words as he tried to comfort the other.

He found himself to be successful when Tubbo looked back up with a small smile on his face, there was a bit of dirt smudged on his cheek that Tommy hadn’t noticed before. Before he could stop himself he brought a hand up and swiped at the other boys face where the dirt was, tubbos eyes crinkled and his nose scrunched up as it happened. 

He pulled his hand back and blinked at tubbo a few times, looking down at his hand and then back up again. “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t really know why I did that. God wow, great first impression huh.”

They both laughed and Tubbo brought his own hand up to swipe at the smudge to make sure it was all gone. They stood there for a few seconds, not really knowing what to do next. Neither wanted to leave each other though, even if they just met they didn’t want to leave the others company. Tommy could feel the books shift again in his bag and he leaned back on his feet.

“So, do you wanna walk around or something?” Tubbo looked up from where he was staring at the ground and gestured to the stalls behind them.

He nodded in response and they both started to walk next to each other, it was clear that Tubbo knew his way around the town better than him so he let him guide. They came across a small bakery and Tommy bought both of them something from the nice lady that was working there, they ate in the store and waved goodbye to her when they left. They continued on their journey until the sun has begun to set, Tommy didn’t want to walk home in the dark so he explained that he had to leave.

Tubbo clearly didn’t want him to go so he continued to follow him, even as they strayed away from the town. He tried to shoo him off with the promise that he would return the next day but he was honestly a little relieved when the short boy refused to let up. They walked mostly in silence, only stopping when Tubbo got distracted by a bee or when he pointed to a flower and began to list off facts about it, he knew a lot about flowers for some reason.

“Don’t you have a family or something, y’know someone who would worry that you never returned home?” Tommy stared at the boy, Tubbo shook his head no, and they left it at that.

By the time they reached home it was mostly dark, the walk took a lot longer when it wasn’t just him by himself. He unlocked the door and they walked in, they left their shoes by the door and Tommy emptied the rest of his coins back into the coin jar. The torches were lit a lot faster with some help and the house didn’t seem so empty anymore, he was glad that Tubbo wanted to stay, even if it was just for a little bit.

Tubbo helped him cook dinner, albeit the kitchen ended up a lot more messy than usual, it was fun to be able to do this with someone else. He tried to get better at cooking since he was left alone because he knew that Technoblade was always good at it, he wanted to see if it would make him proud, maybe he’d leave less he he gave them a reason not to. 

They did have to drag another chair from the living room into the kitchen because at some point Tommy had gotten sick of staring at the empty chairs while eating and so he stacked them in a different room. He was relieved Tubbo didn’t mention the chairs, that were obviously worn in, stacked in a different room or the closed doors of other bedrooms when they went up to his room to sleep, he had started doing that again at the beginning on the week. He still refused to open any of the doors, but he could stand to look at them without crying now.

The two ten year olds curled up together under the covers and slept through the entire night, something that didn’t really happen to either boys often. When they woke up they guessed it was early morning because they got to watch the sunrise together while rubbing their tired eyes. Tommy finally unpacked his bag, throwing out the empty water bottle and snack packaging and stacking his books on the living room table. 

They cooked together once again, but it was mostly Tommy since Tubbo was still tired and opted to slump in his chair. They ate in silence and listened to the birds chirping outside and the wind that came through the open window. Tubbo washed their plates when they finished since the other boy cooked, it was only fair, and afterwards they made their way into the living room. 

When they got bored of lounging around tubbo suggested that they go outside to do something. They had a lot of empty space behind their house, just a large field of grass and the occasional flower, tubbo hoped that meant that there were bees around somewhere. They entered the forest and they explored for a bit, Tommy was never allowed in the woods whenever Phil was home, but Wilbur allowed him to as long as he didn’t go far so he knew the place pretty well.

The spent the next month going out into the woods everyday to explore and look at all the different animals, there was one day when they came face to face with a baby fawn and her mother and they stared at it until they hopped away. They also came across a bees nest and Tubbo had never been more excited, Tommy cried when he got stung by one of the bees.

Tommy had also began reading one of his books, he was getting better at doing so and he was happy that he was learning new words as he did. He read to Tubbo some nights when he struggled to fall asleep, and Tommy always filled him in whenever he read without him so he was never lost on where the story was going. This book was shorter than the first book so it was a bit easier to read, he knew his definitions of some words were probably wrong but he didn’t really care.

It didn’t take him nearly as long to finish this book, only about two weeks or so, he quickly started on his next book and continued to fill tubbo in and read to him at times. He knew Techno had a lot of books in his room but he didn’t really want to go in there, but he also didn’t want to go into town again to buy more. He doesn’t know what type of books Techno had read but he hoped they were interesting. 

He decided on asking tubbo to venture into the dark and lonely room to grab a few books, one that had cool covers or titles. When tubbo came out with a stack of books, three or four of them, he immediately took them and added them into his ever-growing pile of books to read. They stayed on the table in the living room, there was a stack of books he finished and a stack of books he needed to read. 

Tommy’s favorite place to read was in the forest, he had a spot set up by where the bee hive was, Tubbo had insisted they go back to see it ever few days. He liked the way the sun floated along the book and the wind turned the pages for him. They also spotted a fox during one of their weekly walks in the woods, they were getting more and more familiar with the surroundings each time. They named the small fox Squeaks, since they say it a few more times and they thought they would see it more in the future if they were lucky. 

They went past the area that Tommy was usually constricted to, so they were both covering new grounds each time they went out. They were only ten, so they really had no sense of danger and no one was around to keep them in check. There were a few times where one of them would come back with scapes on their knees and tears in their eyes, but the other always bandaged the other one up with care.

It’s been nine months since he saw his father and eldest brother and four months since he was left completely alone by his family, but it had been two months since he met tubbo, so he was okay with being left a tad bit. He missed them, god did he miss them, but tubbo never questioned why sometimes he fell asleep with tears in his eyes and an ache in his chest. He learned that Tubbo didn’t question much, he just let things go as they go, and he was thankful for that at some points.

Tubbo had connected the dots at some point, but he still didn’t know if Tommy had a family or if they were just gone for a really long time. But he saw the closed doors and the moved chairs and knew that if they were to come back they weren’t worthy of Tommy anyways. He was also unaware of how long Tommy had been alone, he’s only been around for a few months and they didn’t really dabble into serious topics all that much. He didn’t really want to think about it, he just wanted to stay here with Tommy while the peace lasted. 

They eventually needed to go into town to get more food as they were running low, Tommy also took it as an invitation to buy another book or two while Tubbo picked up some bread. They tried to be responsible and bought some carrots and other vegetables since they knew they had to be at least somewhat healthy. They also got strawberries and raspberries because they liked to eat them while exploring the forest. 

It had been another month since Tubbo had followed Tommy home but it felt like it had been much longer, they acted like they had been friends since early childhood when in reality it was just a bit over three months. They were close enough to the point where if they told someone, that they were childhood friends, then they would probably believe it.

Tubbo had started waking up earlier than Tommy at some point, they had a routine by now, and so when he entered the living room to get to the kitchen he hadn’t expected to see two people unpacking their belongings into drawers and cabinets. He took a step back and quickly ran back to his room when he made eye contact with a boy who seemed to be in his teen years. He shook Tommy awake as any movement that came from the other rooms seemed to quiet down.

Tommy startled awake when he saw how panicked the other boy was, quickly sitting up and shaking his head of any dizziness it caused. He was about to ask what was wrong when his father was suddenly stood in his doorway, looking at his son and an unfamiliar boy. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped, he didn’t rush to hug him like he usually did when they got back home, he wasn’t sure how he felt about them being home. 

He almost grimaced when the older man took a step into his room, he placed a hand on Tubbos and intertwined their fingers, it was a comfort thing they had begun to do a little bit ago. He continued to stare without saying anything, what could he say? It’s not really that easy to make conversation with someone you haven’t seen in ten months, it was almost like he forgot his face as he took in his father’s appearance.

Tommy opened his mouth to speak but his father beat him to it, “We’re home, Techs in the kitchen right now.” He only got a nod in response before the room fell into silence once more.

He wondered how long it would be until they left again, but he can’t really bring himself to care. He didn’t know where the distaste for his own family came from, maybe when Phil went on his first adventure when he was as young as five. Maybe it was when they left ten months ago and were none-the-wiser about the situation at hand, that one of his sons left, left because he was so tired of being the one that was always abandoned. 

Maybe he started hating them when they left a, then nine year old, alone for nearly an entire year, or maybe it was when they left him to suffer the abandonment of the only person who bothered to stay, and that only lasted so long. He wondered where it came from, wondered when everything went so downhill to the point of hatred. 

“I hate you.” He wasn’t going to lie, even if it was a bit blunt, to his father who was awaiting a welcome back of sorts. Like he deserved it.

Phil sputtered, looking at his son who was now being embraced by the other boy. “Excuse me? Toms what?” 

At this point Techno had come up from behind his father and entered the room as well, he looked over the two young boys and didn’t bother with a greeting. The house looked a lot different than when he left, their chairs were in the living room and it was like he was erased from his own house. There was something wrong but he couldn’t quite figure out what it was just yet.

He immediately came to his fathers defense, he wasn’t going to let some bratty ten year old talk back like that. “Don’t say that, Tom. No you don’t.”

Tommy hated that name, Tom, it was so boring and too serious, and yet it was the only thing the older boy called him. He had yelled at Technoblade once, about calling him that and how he wanted to be called Tommy. But he never listened, or maybe he just didn’t care.

“I do. I hate both of you, so much.” His soft stare had turned into a burning glare that neither knew he was capable of conjuring up. “You’re the reason Will left, why he left me. Alone. In this stupid lonely house.” 

The statement surprised both of them, they immediately stepped out of the room and moved towards the closed bedroom doors. Throwing the door opened and revealing a mostly empty room, Wilbur only left behind a few items that he knew he didn’t need, was a shock that left both of them breathless. Tommy hadn’t even seen the room, he refused to go in there and he still didn’t want to.

“Where did he go? How long has he been gone?” They were back in his room and started to ask questions, how had they just noticed that one of the two inhabitants of the home were missing?

He gripped onto Tubbo tighter and leaned into the arm that wrapped around his neck in a protective manner. “He left. I don’t know where, why would I?”

None of them mentioned the tears that were now going down his face, nor when they were wiped away by the other. They just stared at each other, Tommy and his father, and wondered where it all went wrong. How could their relationship have been so damaged that he trusted a boy he knew for a mere three months more than his own father, more than his real family.

“And you just let him leave?” Techno spoke up once again, and he thinks this is the most he’s spoken to him in years. 

He nearly threw Tubbo to the floor in his haste to stand up, but he stopped last second and slowed down enough for the smaller boy to crawl further onto the bed instead of the ground. “You think I wanted him to leave? You think I wanted to be left alone for months?”

“You know who could have stopped him from leaving? You! But you weren’t here.” He pointed a finger in his fathers direction, “and you never are, not when it’s important anyways!”

He was nearly yelling at this point, and he could see the frustration on his fathers face at his words. He was so young and yet his words held such ferocity, so much emotion that a child should not have the burden of baring. He didn’t want to yell, he didn’t like yelling and it hurt his throat, but he didn’t know how else to get his point across to someone who clearly didn’t want to hear him.

“I try to be back when it’s important, I really do! But sometimes things just don’t go according to plan or we run into something!” There was a sort of desperation in his fathers voice, like it pained him to say the words.

“I’ve been alone for ten months, did you know that? Ten whole months. That seems like a bit too long for it to just be something that you ‘ran into’ doesn’t it?” 

There was a pause, where everything was just silent. The only sounds in the room were their breathing, some more labored than the other. It was like a moment of peace on the battlefield, or maybe the calm before the storm, he didn’t know because he never took the time to learn what they meant. They were all trembling to some degree, Tommy could feel himself practically vibrating with how much he shook.

“Did you even know I turned ten? The big double digits!” Tommy turned to look at his brother. “You always talked about how important it was, to turn ten. And yet you weren’t here!”

There was no one to wipe his tears now, so he let them fall and make pretty marks on the floor. “I was alone on my birthday. I woke up to a note that told me how the last person I thought I could trust left me!”

They all stared at the note that he roughly yanked from his pocket, he always kept it with him, whether in his pockets or stored away in a drawer where he knew it was safe. 

“How is that my fault I wasn’t here? I don’t control when we get home!” Techno never raised his voice, it was always quiet and monotone and yet right now he could hear the emotions in his voice, how it quivered and shook as he spoke.

Good, he thought. Now they finally know how he feels, how he’s felt for years now. Hopefully they knew why Wilbur left now, how bad the ache in your chest feels, how you try and convince yourself that maybe it’s just a dream and when you wake up the house won’t be so quiet and just maybe there will be someone there in the morning to love you. He just wanted to be good enough for them, but things have proven time and time again that he’s not. Why would everyone leave otherwise?

“I hate you. I really, really hate you.”

And he meant what he said, he knew he meant it when he looked at the people who were supposed to be his family and all he felt was betrayal. He was far too hurt to be so young, and he knew it too, and he blamed it on them. Blamed the hurt on every missed birthday, every missed holiday that he was far too excited for, and every single day that they were gone. 

Tommy took in a shaky breath and turned around to face his friend, he extended his hand in an invitation that he knew the other understood. The older boy took his hand and they clung to each other for a few seconds before parting, Tubbo wiped his tears away and gave him the best smile he could at the moment. 

Together they packed their bags, Tommy took his books and he also stole some more from Technos room just to spite him, and Tubbo packed the food that they bought together and other necessities. They took enough coins from the coin jar to last them a while and they stole blankets and a lantern that Tommy didn’t even know existed. 

Neither father nor brother tried to stop them as the two young boys, far too young to be by themselves, left. And as they walked away they both said a silent goodbye to the bees in the forest and the memories in the small family cottage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Tommy and Tubbo left the cottage!!! No clue where they’re going, since they’re legit 10, but we don’t have to think about that.
> 
> It was very lovely to write this fic, I enjoyed it and incredible amount. Also this is the longest fic I’ve ever written??? Hell yeah, pretty Poggers if you ask me.
> 
> Now, hand over your kudos >:D


	3. Sequel !!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m writing a sequel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

Hiya!! I’m writing a sequel to this work!!! It’ll be centered around Tommy and Tubbo but they’re grown up and it’s about how their life is and they meet up with some people they used to know (you can def guess who) and itll probably only be 1 chapter but I plan to make it really long!! I’ll be deleting this chapter when it’s up. Im_a_grenade inspired me to do this!!! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO ALSO ALSO SOMEONE DREW REALLY POG FANART OF THIS FIC 
> 
> https://twitter.com/advedreem/status/1358156081487179777?s=21 !!
> 
> THEIR @ IS @/advedreem ON TWT!’ THEYRE REALLY COOL AND YOU SHOULD FOLLOW THEM

**Author's Note:**

> I actually proofread this one, Wowie.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed :))
> 
> We HATE SMP!Philza in this household


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